


Bring it on Home, Jackie

by wrightworth



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Angst, F/M, Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 11:24:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12131415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrightworth/pseuds/wrightworth
Summary: Jackie had never felt more helpless or alone.One-shot detailing Jackie's emotions in S5 EP9 "Black Dog" and what possibly went down.Some mentions of Zen Masters, but a more Jackie-centric fic.





	Bring it on Home, Jackie

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fic I've uploaded since I was 10. It's inspired by events that take place in "Black Dog" and "Bring it on Home" (5.9/19) but goes into more depth from Jackie's point of view. This story is unbeta'd. Sorry! I mean, I proofread it like three times, but I also haven't gotten proper sleep in half a month...so sorry if there are any errors! I'll probably end up re-reading this fic a thousand times, combing it for errors anyways.  
> Please let me know what you think! :)

          Daddy was in jail for embezzling funds, and Mommy left because she needed to go somewhere (Mexico, apparently) to “get my thoughts together.” This left Jackie by herself.

          Her sobs echoed through the halls of the Burkhart mansion, and it only made the house seem more empty than it already was. The cries could be heard from the entrance of the house, and her bedroom was very, very far away from it. How could she help it though? Jackie felt like it was her against the world, and she was only strong enough to take on so much.

          She held Fluffycakes, her prized stuffed unicorn, in between her legs as she rolled into a fetal position on her bed. Tears fell from her cheeks like a waterfall onto her unicorn, and she was disgusted by her state. What could she do though? She was so helpless, so little, so powerless against everything. Even her bedroom, the place she considered her kingdom, took control of her. The pink walls, in the darkness, oozed a gross, maroon color and seemed to close in on her. Her bed, her room--her entire world suddenly multiplied in size. She was left behind, feeling small, like an ant.

          Why did they leave her alone? Didn’t they love her? Why did Daddy betray Point Place? Her father had said that everyone supported him and that he got paid more than Jackie could imagine. So, how come he had to take money from the people--from the poor, sad people of Point Place--that he claimed he loved?

          Nothing made sense to her anymore.

          Jackie couldn’t comprehend anything as she created rivers with her grief. The tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving shining remnants behind. She was ashamed to be practically bawling her eyes out. She was Jackie Burkhart! Burkharts didn’t cry in sadness; they plotted revenge and destroyed their enemies’ lives. This moment here should have been no exception. Yet, here she was, trembling. Her hands covered her tear-streaked face as she rubbed her eyes, trying to stop the tears. They kept flowing, coming in waves and each burst was stronger than the last. She was drowning in a flood of her own grief and she could not control it.

          “Why…why me?” Jackie sobbed into her hands, gasping with every word, “what did I do to deserve this? I-I’m… I’m a Burkhart…! I’m supposed to live a good life!”

          Her cries turned into raspy, heavy breathes and her lips quivered with every inhale. She felt so helpless and alone. Jackie had felt this way before- when Michael, _stupid_ Michael, cheated on her [for the first time], she locked herself up in her room and cried her eyes out. Although, the intensity of her tears then was not even close to her sorry state now.

          More tears welled up at the edges of her eyes as she held Fluffycakes at eye level and said, “stupid. _Stupid_ Daddy…! What was he thinking? Leaving me like this! ...He-he was _stupid_! Why would he do such a thing? You’d never leave me, right Fluffycakes?” She stared deep into the black, reflective eyes of her plush and furrowed her eyebrows together. However, the “response” Fluffycakes gave her seemed to be enough, and she gave it a small, somber smile as she returned it back to her chest, hugging it tighter than before. Her tears had stopped, but her chest felt like there was a gaping hole inside.

 _I don’t have anyone right now,_ she thought, _but tomorrow morning I have Steven._

_...Wait! Steven!_

          Her thoughts seemed to go into a frenzy, as she realized that she didn’t have to be alone. She had Steven. When the gang had found out Mr. Burkhart had been arrested, Steven offered to let her sleep over at the Formans’, in his room in the basement. At first, she thought it was because Steven wanted to sleep with her, but the worry that fell over his eyes without his sunglasses made her think otherwise. He had told her, “Jackie...it’s cool if you want to stay with me tonight,” but she declined in a despair-stricken state. Jackie hadn’t even realized his concern for her because she was so selfish and only wondered what would happen to her life.

          Perhaps, now, she could go over to Steven’s? She shook her head. He would just think that she was an indecisive girl. She deserved this, after all, she had said no to Steven’s offer. If she had responded with a maybe or a yes, Jackie would have no hesitation in going. But, she destined herself for doom by saying no in the heat of the moment. Her eye twitched at her stupidity as she placed Fluffycakes on her bed and walked over to the mirror. Staring at her reflection, she frowned as she looked at her face.

 _My eyebags are dark, my eyes are puffy, and I look like I just got done snorting crack!_ Jackie growled in frustration as newly formed tears came streaming down her face. Thumps could be heard around the house as Jackie stomped and screamed, “Stupid! _Stupid_! **_Stupid_**!”

          How could she be so dumb? The one person who was there for her she pushed away. Looking in the mirror again, with the tears rolling down her cheeks, she pointed at herself. “Jackie, you’re a _stupid_ botard!” She shouted into the mirror as she wished that someone was there to prove her wrong. Frustrated with herself, she screamed one last time before being interrupted. Her phone was ringing.

 _What idiot wants to talk to me now?_ she scowled to herself as she marched over to her phone. Picking up the telephone, she spat out, “What?”

          “Jackie?” the voice responded, and almost immediately, her anger switched into confusion, and her hands began to shake. It was Steven. He called her. Why would he call her, after she insisted that she was okay? Did he know that she was thinking of him?

          Voice trembling, she mustered, “P-puddin’ pop? Why are you calling me?”

          “I just thought…y’know. Maybe you felt like talking.”

          A soft laugh escaped her lips, as she used her spare hand to wipe away tears that ran down her cheeks. “ _Ohh_...Steven…!” He cared about her. “ _You_ wanted to see how I was doing!”

          “...Whatever. Are you okay?”

          His Zen tone didn’t phase her, and she knew what he meant even through the phone. She was bouncing back already, excited that someone cared about her wellbeing. Maybe he even _loved_ her. He didn’t have to say it; she saw it in his eyes.

          With hesitation, Jackie spoke to Hyde. Although she did not mind confiding him for every little rumor she heard, she was nervous for some reason.

_He’s been through this...more than I have I’m sure. Steven is brave. ...I trust him._

          “I’m… no. I’m **not** okay, Steven,” she managed to whisper truthfully, “...my. My mom left for Mexico.”

          The telephone was silent for what felt like hours. Jackie took a seat on her bed and sat quietly.

          Whenever Hyde called Jackie, there were always bouts of silence. Whether it be Jackie taking a much-needed sip of water because of her talking or Hyde taking a moment to think, silence always managed to fill the call. It wasn’t awkward, and in fact, Jackie didn’t mind it either. Sometimes silence was better than talking.

          Eventually, Hyde’s voice filled the receiver once more, “Do you...do you want to stay over? Until your mom gets back?”

          Her heart fluttered with relief when his voice returned. Yet, in a way, she was anxious about his words. Leaving the mansion was accepting that no one was coming back.

_I don’t want to be alone._

_It’s only for awhile, right?_

          “Well…,” she said with uncertainty, “sure. Why not?”

          She began to play with her hair, thinking of what to do next. She’d have to pack and go quickly- she didn’t want to leave Steven waiting. She didn’t want to pack everything up and leave though. A part of her wanted to believe that her family would be happy again. She’d only pack the essentials, so she could return home the next day. _Hopefully_ , she thought, _to a happy one with Mommy and Daddy._

          “Thank you, Steven. I’ll take Daddy’s Lincoln over in a second. I just have to pack my bags,” she finally mustered.

          A little chuckle was heard through the phone as Hyde replied, “No problem, doll. I’ll unlock the door for you, okay? Be quiet though, Red is sleeping.”

          Jackie nodded as if Hyde could see her. “Okay. I’ll see you soon. Bye, Steven,” she said as she hung up the phone.

          The Burkhart girl sat on the bed for a few moments more and stared into the vanity mirror. From her tall bed, she could see herself from the chest up. Wiping away the few stray tears, Jackie managed to let a small smile grace her lips.

          She got out of her bed and began to pack a small bag. She managed to narrow her bag down to the bare essentials, and she made her way to the Formans’. On her way out of the mansion, she grabbed Fluffycakes and locked the door.

          Maybe she wasn’t alone in this world after all. She had him.

**Author's Note:**

> Edited for clarity and some grammar issues on May 20th, 2018.


End file.
